Sometimes life just gets ahead of you. For a few minutes, for a few hours, maybe even a day. Or, let’s say your entire fall was eventful and life got ahead of you by a few weeks.
The holidays come with the usual hype and you wonder if you’ll ever be able to catch up. Your overnight online shopping packages are starting to arrive. FedEx, UPS, postal companies, Amazon. Such good delivery people.
Of course you know what you ordered, so you put the boxes in the corner of the bedroom and get to them later.
Time passes, days turn into weeks and finally it’s later.
I take the box, open it and have no idea what I’m looking at. Well, I know I’m looking at a pair of shoes and a jacket, but I don’t remember ordering shoes and a jacket.
When did I order it?
Why did I order this?
What else did I order that I don’t remember?
Will live animals or heavy machinery come?
The next thought that comes to mind is “Do I need Prevagen?”
I wonder if I’m really losing it, then I put the contents back in the box and see that it’s addressed to my neighbor.
What a relief, though the relief quickly turns to anguish when I realize that not only have I opened my neighbor’s package, but it’s been sitting in our house for over two weeks.
Did she walk without shoes and without a jacket?
I quickly text her and she replies “haha” saying she complained to the company a few weeks ago and they reshipped the item. She will return the product that was lying at our house and say that it is not a problem. She is the cutest. I only hope that the company will not ask for the name and address of the neighbor who was sitting on the goods.
Everything is fine.
Then it hits me. We are going out of town for a few days. Guess who we ask to watch over packages when we’re gone? Do I have the audacity to ask my neighbor, whose parcel I have been sitting on for almost three weeks, if she will keep a close eye on our parcels?
Maybe I can make a deal. I might suggest she keep our packages at her house for a few weeks, even open a few and see if there’s anything she likes.
She might enjoy Nerf blasters or a giant stuffed unicorn. It must have been years since she played with Slinky. Maybe she would like to make a volcano and watch it explode.
My neighbor can do whatever she wants with the bags. All I ask is that they be returned by December 24th. I will be very grateful.
Lori Borgman is a columnist, author and speaker. Her new book “What Happens to Grandma, Stays in Grandma” is out. Email her at email@example.com.